The past few days

getting from point a 
to point b 
has been a struggle 


My left palm carries the written words "It's not your fault" from point a


just incase I don't make it to b 


I've been over animated at work


in constant movement


they think i'm over tired but i'm just trying to keep myself distracted 


from myself 

I know theres a number but I don't feel like calling


I don't even mind that i'm a hypocrite 




I could have killed myself in front of my 8 year old 




I could have killed myself in front of my 1 year old 




Its a pattern on repeat 


and if he sucks it all up his life is over


 just like mine is from time to time 




It shuts me down
I can't focus 


but another side of my brain opens up allowing me to be more intuitive 




this nonsense is nothing more than coincidence 




In one moment a life is altered 


I kind of feel like the lines on my palms have been rearranged 

Her story is just a little more interesting than mine

                                                 Her body is where it needs to be