It's a lie to say that I know things. Moments in my life that I believed to be fate....
have proven to be nothing more than insignificant mishaps that brought me down another notch.
I lose my mind a little more each time I come to this place.
I hear twenty different stories at the same time. Laughing, giggling....I don't know how to separate them
so I try to focus on my own head but then I realize....that's where it's all coming from.
Most of the time i'm numb and completely out of focus with myself.
I see black while the rest of the world sees white. I need to get out from here.
Some people outline a colored picture by pressing the crayon down just a little harder.
I feel like I can compare myself to that work. The inside of me has to be a lot lighter.
But there is this thin line all around my body blocking any of that light from getting out.
So am I just an outline?
I may be a repeat offender.
To hear with the ears instead of reading with the eyes click here.
Right now I sit inside a three sided box.
A cubicle meant to fit only human telephone wires.
I am taught to act robotic and then lectured for my lack of inflection.
I find myself staring blankly at the screen.
The cursor is moving in perfect sync with the ticking of the clock.
The blinking of the cursor reminds me of an archer pulling back his arrow,
releasing it, and shooting it straight. through. my. heart.
I find myself changing everyday.
I find myself increasingly annoyed by people, like nails on a
never ending chalkboard.
I would say that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed
but that would require sleeping.
It may be a big surprise but I still keep a lot of things to myself.
I may come across as hardcore and rough sometimes but it's really not what is
underneath
I have to protect a lot of what I think and what I feel
even though I've become more vocal and expressive when it comes to my depression
I still fear that there is a lot that can't be understood....or a lot that would be misunderstood.
I'm easy to break but also easy to put back together but sharing every secret i've ever had
would certainly leave me broken for good
there are just some things that have to be left to the imagination
i'm talking about mine, not yours.
I don't want to fight with anyone or disrespect anyone, but i'm still at a battle.
Sometimes I feel like some people trigger a bigger war, and although I love them, I have to
set them aside for a while. It's nothing to take personally, it's just another matter of survival..
...for me and
although they may never see it, it's for them to.
But try to take me in anyways. i'm very unpredictable and I may find a home within you
if given the
chance.
XX
We spend our whole loves running away from it only to come face to face with it in the end.
X Marks the spot.
We have no choice.
