You can't get into my face like that

Sometimes when you lean over to wake me up
I wake up happy




But sometimes it takes me back to a time when bad things happened to me
and it makes me forget where I am. 


I don't want to hurt you the way that I was hurt. 

So please roll over and start your day without me. 

This is not a dream

Insert gaps
Fill those gaps with the good things that 
never occurred. 


Retraining your mind is the only way out of this. 


Those cracks in the sidewalk you've avoided your whole life
need to be filled in. 

Let it break your mother's back. Let it break your own. 


You are but a single penny glued to the ground fooling a poor mans loneliness.


What does that offer besides regret. 

You see soldiers marching on
Their lives at a distance
but guns intertwined. 






Insert gaps
Fill them with the good things that you 
wish occurred. 




This is not a dream. 

Stranger in The Street

Why would the gunman kill me 


He didn't even know the streets were already covered 


in my blood. 


Why would the stranger's watch on


why would they take it all on? 


To see the death of one they didn't even know of. 




And if I could


I'd tell you all off 


And if I could 


I'd say what's on my mind




But I can't wake up from the imprint 


I can't climb out from the outline that's become me. 




So why did the stranger point his gun at me? 


To kill me when I'm already dead and on the ground by your feet




And if I could


 I'd tell you all off


And if I could


I'd say what's on my mind


But I can't wake up from this imprint


I can't climb out from the outline that's become me. 

When you live a lie

How long before it becomes the truth? 

Just cuz you feel it doesn't mean it's there.

When People die I have a hard time mourning their deaths




I feel bad




Almost apathetic when people die




Most people don't realize that I believe in a god


When I speak of my apathy when others die I feel that god will take away someone I really love


just to say "Fuck you." 




Just to tell me i'm a bad child




just to teach me a lesson. 






People tell me that god isn't vengeful 


but that's only the god that they believe in. 


so what is the real god? 




I used to feel so much. Someone I once loved and really cared for went missing. Reporters were having a field day....they were on a mission. She came back on air and with a shit eating grin told the world that there was news about the missing girl then cut to commercial. I laughed. I wondered when was too early to call her and invite her over for dinner. The reporter came back on, changed her face to what made the story, and reported her death. I hate the news. It's factitious and real at the same time. It's changed me for good. 

two colors in my mind

black


























white
























"black is not a color"


"white is not a color"


"black is a color"


"white is a color"




where is a scientist when you need one 






two halves combined into one


one part black


one part white


all gray 


no rain


not a single cloud


everything is set with a hard shell around it 


preparing to be shattered with a tiny blow 


























Radiohead said it best when they said everything was in it's right place.