Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Just cuz you feel it doesn't mean it's there.

When People die I have a hard time mourning their deaths




I feel bad




Almost apathetic when people die




Most people don't realize that I believe in a god


When I speak of my apathy when others die I feel that god will take away someone I really love


just to say "Fuck you." 




Just to tell me i'm a bad child




just to teach me a lesson. 






People tell me that god isn't vengeful 


but that's only the god that they believe in. 


so what is the real god? 




I used to feel so much. Someone I once loved and really cared for went missing. Reporters were having a field day....they were on a mission. She came back on air and with a shit eating grin told the world that there was news about the missing girl then cut to commercial. I laughed. I wondered when was too early to call her and invite her over for dinner. The reporter came back on, changed her face to what made the story, and reported her death. I hate the news. It's factitious and real at the same time. It's changed me for good. 

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