as she learned she hasn't turned an inch in ten years

I want to be an immature person who can move forward in this life without feeling
an ounce of pain for the things that shouldn't matter anymore. 


I hoped the more work I put out there the quicker it would disappear. 




But the thing about knowing only one thing is what happens when its gone? 


These things that consume me like raw fire
curling fingers spitting up around a cracked pot 
cracking me further spilling me on top of the open range 


I don't want any of it. You've seen what it's done to me. I've seen what it's done to me. I've seen what it's done to you. 


But I'd be lost without it. 


When I smile without hiding  and when I laugh without regret


how long will it take you to know i'm missing? 


The world inside of everybody could use some change 
we could evolve with revolving 
it's just a matter of making ourselves turn


and so then she learned she hasn't turned an inch in ten years 
no circular
no curving course 
time standing still illuminating space 
reflecting all the emptiness around her 
how informative we all must be 


she weeps over those
who shouldn't matter anymore and it's just to sad, for she knows
she was never wept for.