The Past in present

PAST

 

My back was pressed against the walls of my youth

Where my brothers sobs had seeped through

I felt helpless

At five and six I didn’t have the ability to turn into a superhero

So I just curled against that wall in silence

I did what I was told and minded my own business

One time my brother had stuck nails up in the doorway 

                                            so when our mother

Came to check up on him, she would step on them

But instead it was my father who entered. My brother said I was to blame.

This grown up man, who knows best, came into my room and moments later it felt

As if my leg was crushed. Through my sobs I admitted that I was not the one to blame. 

My damage had already been done.  

I should have just accepted it.

PRESENT

I always imagine that a world of time travel will someday exist allowing me to escape my present long enough to fix my past

I know the moment I appear in 88’, an invisible wall will be placed between myself and the situations that I wish to change

I can envision myself pounding against the clear walls. I can hear myself screaming so loudly in hopes that my voice will crack the barriers.

All I want to do is save that little boy

I don't need to save myself

I need to save him

Years ago when the boy had grown he had stated that I was “Nothing more than my father’s daughter.”

The thought of that terrified me

Mostly because I  resembled him through my anger

I resembled him through my irrational thoughts

my socially awkward tendencies are an exact replica of his own

And now I have something else my father once had....a little boy.

 

I am my father's daughter

But the weight of the chain has been broken

and will end with him