The air inside my head

what's really strange is that i generally have to be extremely depressed to have really deep meaningful conversations. It's a little difficult to comprehend...almost like my IQ shoots up a hundred points everytime I cry. Strange no? Half of the time I walk around its almost as if there is nothing in there. Even if I know the answer or what I want to say...I can't say it because the right words wouldn't come out. I don't know why I was built this way.