I Am the Dream

 I dreamt of zombies again last night. Which is unusual because aside from the three times this past week i've never dreamt of them in my entire existence. I don't believe in the irrational. At least not anymore. I used to be consumed by all these things that didn't make sense, things that weren't real, things that didn't or could never happen. It would trigger a fear in me which would push me inside, away from everything light. I feel afraid sometimes, but not like I used to. I think I just go through everyday not expecting a thing to be different. It's a little sadder to live that way but i'm safe for now right? Maybe all these zombies i've been dreaming of are just variations of the me now, the present me. Which makes it seems more like a nightmare. Whats happening to me? ...someone who, once upon a time, was haunted by every breath that everyone has ever shown has become this sheltered warrior..driven to be a hidden mirage or just a passerby. I can't remember being funny. I can't remember being sad. I can't remember feeling hurt. I can't remember wanting to be angry. But I need all these things. I can't be, I can't create, I can't do without them. So then what have I become, another phase? 

                                                                                  -a-