My name was whispered
It was midnight and one of the first moments I became afraid of sleep
My eyes widened
He held it an inch above my face
And repeated my name
He thought he was being funny, making me afraid
But I was lifeless
I might as well have been dead
for fear had completely paralyzed me
I had lost again
PRESENT
A steel burden has placed itself upon me
I carry it through all of life
I shield myself at work
I protect myself through sleep
I hold onto safety when I walk, when I drive, and
when I breathe
Perhaps the steel is carrying me
And I have become it’s burden by never letting it go
I shall document the day I feel free of it
I woke up alone and terrified again
It is not as if I go looking for this
It just seems to find me
My heart sinks into the pit of my stomach
Leaving a big gaping hole for death to take its toll
These nerves completely consume me
So I steer myself slowly around corners
And I pace slowly on these floors
expecting the end to jump out at me
It is all so tiresome
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